When I think about how I feel right now, I feel honored. Honored to have the opportunity to study with 7 amazing women who provide me with so much hope and inspiration. Honored to have the opportunity to grow so much as a teacher over the past two years, and to serve along with the other members of my third grade team. Honored to be able to lead and serve my students, who are incredible human beings. Honored to be in a profession that despite its challenges, is meaningful and important. I could go on and on.
Looking back over April, one of the biggest patterns in my celebrations was my own presence in my classroom. Over the past month, I have tried hard to keep things light in my classroom instead of succumbing to all of the CRCT testing pressure. Although I have had freak-out moments about my students not being prepared for the CRCT, I was able to spend most of my time in April spending quality time with my students in my classroom. I focused on improving my reading instruction and spending more time with my readers. I honestly had a lot of fun reading different texts with my readers, and having discussions about them. While I struggled to perfect that "gradual release" model, my students and I enjoyed analyzing poems, short texts, and stories together. I hope that I can continue to grasp what it means to teach rigorous reading instruction in an enjoyable way. I know that the Pathways to the Common Core book has inspired me to prioritize reading and writing in a new way.
This month I've also been doing a lot of reflecting about my behavior management. After having a discussion with Dr. Fisher about effective behavioral management techniques, I realized that I needed to make it a priority to help my students intrinsically build their motivation. I stepped back and critically thought about my role as a disciplinarian and I basically came to the conclusion that I wasn't training my students to monitor their own behavior. I was not teaching my students any self-control techniques and instead was being the voice that told them when they were doing a great job and when they were struggling. While my behavior management has been so much better than last year and I don't have any extreme problems, I still have a long way to go in developing students who self-monitor and who are intrinsically motivated to be their best selves. I have found that deepening relationships is honestly a type of behavior management in a way. We don't have to have any rewards/points systems. We need to develop relationships with each student and encourage and support them. I'm still learning how to do this in a way that is not manipulative, controlling, or aggressive. I am learning how to challenge my students to monitor their own behavior, which in fact is the long-lasting change that we want for our students.
I just want to say thank you to all of you who have supported me so tangibly throughout this past two years. To say that last year was a struggle is an understatement. There were times when I literally did not think I was going to make it through the day, and more times than not, I left my classroom and school feeling discouraged, lonely, and disappointed in myself. It was a dark time for me, and as cheesy as it sounds, GSU was the light. You were the ones who never stopped believing in me, and you always saw the greatness in me. Thank you for being patient with me during those times and for persistently encouraging and supporting me. I truly feel honored to know each and every one of you. You have touched my life in a real way. And, even more than that, you have even played a role in serving my students -- because of your unceasing love and encouragement, I have been able to love and encourage my kids this year. So, thank you.
