March was a month full of a lot of doubts, fears, reflections, and revelations. This month I was very introspective about my teaching practices, which was caused by a few things. There has been a lot of conflict in my classroom this month, and I realized that I didn't know how to handle a lot of it. I didn't know how to respond when I had tried everything I knew how to do, and it still didn't work. For whatever reason, I didn't open up to many people about it until recently. I guess I was a little ashamed that I didn't know what to do, when the problems weren't huge or unmanageable. When I compare them to the problems that my students had last year, they feel insignificant. But these small problems have grown and have become bigger. My classroom culture has definitely been impacted and all of my students are feeling it. I did some major reflection about this personally and also with my students. Just yesterday we had a class meeting where we all talked about our concerns. Each student was given an opportunity to talk about what was troubling them, and then I challenged them to think about the person that they wanted to be and then from there, make a goal for yourself. I told them that my main goal as a teacher is not to get them to pass the CRCT -- it is to help them develop relational and communication skills. My students are so amazing this year, and I want them to live up to their full potential.
Apart from reflecting about the social/emotional/behavioral issues in my classroom, I have also reflected deeply upon my reading instruction. I came to the scary revelation that I actually don't explicitly teach much of anything during reading. I have been so focused on book clubs that I haven't done as many read alouds or reading mini-lessons. In some ways, it's good that I've made reading more student-centered, but at the same time, it's absolutely unacceptable that I have failed to truly teach some important reading skills. I started off the year pretty strong in reading, but I have been doubting myself more and more over the month. I wanted to do something productive with these doubts, because I believe that inherently doubts aren't a bad thing. I realized that I was not spending enough time reading WITH my students in small groups. So, I decided to implement something new where I am working in small groups with students to do close reading with them (if you haven't heard of this strategy, you should definitely look it up!). We are reading short texts that are interesting and relevant, and my students have enjoyed them so far. I have found many of the reading passages on Readworks.org, so if you haven't heard of this site, definitely check it out! There are so many kid-friendly articles about important controversial topics such as the following articles: "Are Video Games Bad for You?" or "Junk Food Ad Attack." In these small groups, we have focused on determining the meaning of new/unfamiliar words using decoding strategies and context clues, and we have also had an opportunity to discuss the issues that are addressed in the articles. I am starting to understand what it means to strike a balance between equipping my students with technical reading skills (decoding, fluency, accuracy, etc.) while also making sure that I give them opportunities to engage in meaningful discourse about their reading. This is exciting and scary at the same time, because I'm not sure if I'm truly doing it right. I'm excited to reflect more about this so I can be a stronger reading teacher next year.
And of course, I can't reflect upon March without mentioning the CRCT. Ugh. That's how I feel about it. I'm so done with and it hasn't even started. But the pressure has definitely started. I'm trying to make sure that I don't put the pressure that I am feeling onto my students, because I know that is not going to help in any way. My major concern is that my students will start to believe that everything we are doing is to prepare for the CRCT. This is the time when students unfortunately start to believe that the purpose for learning is to do well on a test. I want my students to believe something different, but it's tough because we do need to talk about the CRCT in order for my students to be prepared for it. I'm trying to make sure that I'm not talking about it at every second, but at the same time, I know that my students need to become familiar with it so that they don't get completely traumatized on the first day of testing. I'm trying to think of creative ways to encourage my students and to help them feel motivated and inspired, despite the depressing climate of testing. If anyone has any ideas, let me know! :)
Sometimes, I think that you are in my brain. I totally understand what you mean about the reading instruction. I have had a hard time articulating what I have been thinking about my reading but you hit the nail on the head. I think that I have been caught up with the conversations and the connections without really taking the time with my mini-lessons to hash out the reading strategies and the skills that students need to pick out very specific things in their reading like the theme. I really like the idea of doing close reading. I think that at this point in the year, this is what I should be doing at my guided reading table. For the most part, my students are fluent readers with pretty sound phonics skills. Using the close reading during the time at our guided reading table will not only help them with their reading skills but it also great test preparation and can easily incorporate test taking skills. Thanks for the thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI am constantly checking myself in the discussions of the CRCT as I try not to take the stresses that are being placed on the teachers and put them onto my students. It's a tough line to follow between making sure that they understand the importance without creating the atmosphere of anxiety and pressure. I'm trying to love on my kiddos as much as possible in the next few weeks to combat the stresses that I am watching arise.
It is remarkable how so much of your thinking mirrors my own!! I, too, am struggling some potent realizations after reviewing writing assessments and scores. And as the school year comes to a close, I find that I am also being pulled towards leadership and advocacy. I want so badly to not just share some of what I'm learning, but to get other people on board. I am passionate about collaboration, especially for the purpose of being better teachers for our precious students. I am in no way seeking a leadership position, but I want to organize collaborations where the adults in our school identify and analyze problems, then find solutions in informed ways. There doesn't seem to be a model for dong this, especially when the aim of leadership is genuine concern for our kids and a true desire for improvement--and not a new position or recognition. Since we are both so passionate about sharing things we've learned at our schools, let's get together to talk about the best way to do this. We know that for various reasons, it can be hard to initiate change in schools. I would love for us to spend some time thinking about the best ways to do this.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Allaisia! I would love to work together to brainstorm how we can help change our schools. I have been thinking a lot about this and I'm also unsure of the way to go about it. Let's definitely get together sometime in May (after all of our grad assignments are passed in) to talk about this! I'm excited :)
DeleteWhat an intro! You are the most passionate, caring teacher ever! I love that you took the time to sit with your students and to challenge them to be the best they could be and you challenged yourself to help them get there - screw the CRCT ha.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool way to change up your teaching of reading. I think it would be amazing to sit with Ms. Harrison and talk about controversial topics - well I do know its amazing because I have been doing it for two years :) Your students are definitely going to be better thinkers and readers because of this and you are providing them an opportunity to challenge new ideas through reading - that is pretty cool!
I feel ya on the CRCT... I have done a lot of reflecting this weekend on what I am doing in my class and how that relates to the CRCT. You mentioned that you are worried that your students are going to begin to think the only reason we learn is to prepare for the CRCT and that is definitely a fear I have as well. We have spent all year focusing on bigger pictures and following life long dreams and now I feel like the only thing I can think about is if that student has proven to me that they have "mastered" a standard. Being a teacher is so much more than just test prep and we have to remind ourselves of that, especially at this time of year. Thank you for helping me do this!